Writing is my new getaway. Whenever I’m faced with unsettled thoughts, whenever emotions well up in me, whenever I feel like freeing my spirit, it’s the perfect cave to vent.

I wish I could place a finger on how I feel right now.  I hope by the time I’m done with this post, I’ll be able to make sense of my thoughts.  Under recently normal circumstances,  I should be crying now.  But I can’t.  No matter how hard I try. I’ve used all my tear triggers—from Me Before You to Benjamin Dube’s Kea Ho Rata to sappy pictures—to nought.

I found out two days ago that I’m melancholic. Yes, if you follow my posts, you know that already.  And I’ve been painfully pricked by reality that I’ve been fighting the wrong battles. All along, I’ve been managing a sanguine personality and things weren’t quite great.  I got helpless thinking I just had to accept myself.  Only to find out I was suppressing a better part of me the whole time. Wasted efforts.

Now, I’m just an emotional wreck. I can’t quite find myself.  It’s just a topsy-turvy ride now.  I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen next. It doesn’t help that I find no worthy confidant too. I guess this is just a phase. A very painful phase I must confess, but I’ll get through it. I surely will. 

PS. Tried to edit and noticed that from my write-up, I want to control everything. Including my personality sef, Oh Lord!  Cons of a melancholic.😭😭😭😭

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