How sickening it is that a guy says, “I can’t be in a relationship with you right now,I have issues. But don’t worry.I’ll marry you. Isn’t that all you ladies want?” Really? I’ll marry you? I’ll marry you? And that’s supposed to make me feel better because YOU WILL MARRY ME? Is that all you think I’m reaching for in life? To get married? So I should settle for that as though it’s the most attractive bargaining chip.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion, like noses, no matter how crooked they are.So it is bearable if guys want to think that of females. It’s only distasteful when we females accept this crooked, twisted idea of our sexuality. I was utterly gutted when a friend said, “I want to get a degree, do my masters, get married, have children, then enjoy life.” Had to curl my fingers into a fist to stop them from pulling her hair out..
How far has this disgusting brainwashing gone? That we being ladies ought to aim high but not so high? That we be careful not to scare the men because we’re a little too successful, a little too pretty, a little too smart? So we ought to dumb it down a little so men can get comfortable in our presence lest we do not get married? That every decision we make must, in one way or the other, depend on the kind of marriage we have or would want to have? That our dreams should be truncated because we have a family to run? Yet it’s perfectly okay that society allows men to chase their dreams after getting married.Is it not the same marriage, sha?
Don’t get me wrong. I want to get married someday. Marriage is a divine institution. I will get married if God permits it. In fact,I even have names for my kids already.And I’ve mentally picked out their sexes, two girls.And I’ll give them pretty ponytails and a big,pink bowtie will always sit on their heads. Cute stuff like that.
But I’m saying, society should stop making marriage look like the ideal end for women.Teach us to cook because cooking is a beautiful art, not because we need to make good wives. Teach us to clean because cleanliness is next to godliness, not because we will get divorced if we don’t. Educate us because education is the best legacy a parent bequeaths to his children, not because you want us to find an elite husband.Do not speak to us as though all the preparation we’re making in life is to make us successful in marriage. We shan’t stomach this ludicrous idea anymore!
Ladies, our lives don’t end in marriage. We shouldn’t aspire ONLY to get married.When we do get married, we are allowed to go beyond that, okay? We are allowed to work our behinds off at home,taking care of the family and work even harder climbing the corporate ladder with no fear. It is acceptable to juggle pursuing a specialty with keeping his food on the table,okay? It is okay to leave indelible footprints in the sands of time even if you’re female. Unless of course, you don’t want to. Want to pursue surgery? Ride on! Don’t let marriage stop you. Rings are not shackles! And it is okay if they call you proud because they can’t measure up to your ingenuity. It’s fine, pretty head!
Again I say, female lives don’t end because we take on a Mrs. and dear Mr., you should encourage and support us like we would you.In any case, in Prof. Dr. Mrs. Ellen……, there’s a reason why the Mrs. comes just before the name. It’s only an initial title.;)
“Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage.
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don’t teach boys the same?”
– Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie( Flawless- Beyonce )
For I know the thoughts I think towards you, says the Lord. Thoughts of good and not of evil, to bring you to an expected end.